Daily stress is a major cause of serious mental and physical health problems in our lives: it can cause heart disease, anxiety, sleep deprivation, autoimmune diseases, weight problems, misfortune, and even deep depression.
But we’re busy – we all have places to do things and see people. So how can we reduce stress and still do our job properly without neglecting our loved ones and ourselves? What can we realistically do today to promote our mental health and general wellbeing?
I will be brief because time is of the essence. There are eight simple (but not easy) things to practice. A few rethinking and a few actions that only take a few minutes a day. These cannot solve the most serious stress-related problems, but they can help most of us to a significant degree.
- Be complete with only one task at a time.
Accept your next task, let go of everything else and be with this one task at the moment.
Immerse yourself in this task by letting go of the feeling that you have to hurry through the task quickly – that you have to move on to the next task that is waiting for you. There will always be a next task because that’s the nature of TO-DO lists – they never end. Let these later tasks come later. Just be 100% in this one task as if it were your whole world.
Conclusion: drive slowly. To breathe. Review your commitments and goals. One after the other. Complete one task at a time. Start now. Take a 5 minute break in an hour. To repeat. (And always remember that results are more important than the time it takes to achieve them.)
- Let go of the control that cannot be controlled.
Fear causes you to be stressed, not by external factors such as your work commitments or family problems. These external factors are only part of life, but they become stressful when you’re afraid of failure, afraid that people don’t like you, afraid that you’re not good enough, afraid of abandonment, and so on.
Your fears are based on a fantasy in your head about how things are supposed to be (and you fear that your life will not do justice to this fantasy): you have an image in your head that will make people like you feel perfect well at all times and are successful on all fronts. These fantasies are one way of feeling in control of a world that you don’t really control, but they hurt you by causing fear and stress. Instead, let go of the control. Be okay with chaos and uncertainty and trust that things will work out. You will be less afraid and feel less stress. (Read the unbound soul.)
- Accept people as they are and smile.
We are angry with others because they do not correspond to our imagination how they should behave. Instead, try to accept them as they are and realize that like you, they are imperfect, looking for happiness and struggling to find it. They do their best. Accept them as they are. In most cases, it’s impossible to change them anyway (and it’s rude to try). How to save yourself unnecessary stress …
Instead of trying to change others, give them your support today and lead by example.
- Perform short mindfulness practices.
You don’t have to meditate for 30 minutes to take advantage of mindfulness.
You can do a quick body scan in 30 seconds (focus on your body and notice how each part feels right now).
You can watch your breath for 60 seconds (listen and feel it).
You can observe your thoughts about concerns, fears, judgments, doubts and ideals for a minute (realize that these thoughts are just thoughts; you don’t have to believe them or react to them).
You can walk attentively, taking care of your feet, your body, your breath and your surroundings.
You can do any of these short mindfulness practices in small increments whenever you need them throughout your day.
- Clear untrue thoughts.
You need to learn a new mindset before you can master a new mindset. Behind every stressful feeling is an untrue thought. You didn’t suffer before the thought, but after the thought you started to suffer. When you realize that the thought is not true, there is no suffering again. If you change your mind, you change your life. So the next time you have a thought that is bothering you, ask yourself these four questions:
Is it true? – This question can change your life. Be quiet and ask yourself if the thought you are dealing with is true.
Can I be 100% certain that it is true? – This is another opportunity to open your mind and go deeper into the unknown to find the answers that live beneath what you think you know.
How do I feel when I think this thought? – With this question you notice internal cause and effect. You can see that if you believe the thought, there is a disorder that can range from mild discomfort to complete panic and fear. What are you feeling? How do you treat the situation (or person) you think of, how do you treat yourself when you believe this thought? Be precise.
Who would I be and what would I do differently if I didn’t think this thought? – Imagine yourself in your situation (or in the presence of this person) without believing the thought. How would your life be different if you couldn’t even think of this stressful thought? How would you feel? What do you prefer – living with or without thought? What feels more peaceful?
(Angel and I discuss this process in detail in the Lesson “Letting Go of Painful Emotions” in the “Back to Happy” course.)
- Deliberately crush the unnecessary comparisons.
Sometimes we struggle with stress and insecurity because we compare our circumstances behind the scenes with those of everyone else’s public highlights. Give it up. Do not compare your Chapter 1 with another’s Chapter 15. Follow your own path, write your own life story and never give up.
The next time you catch yourself comparing your life situation with someone else’s, use these two formulas:
Happiness formula = do your best and feel good about it.
Bad luck formula = compare yourself to everyone else.
- Track what’s going well and say thank you.
To overlook everything that is wonderful is a tragedy. Do your best and give up the rest. If you get stuck in worried thoughts about the life you think you should have, you end up missing the beauty of what you have. It will be difficult for you to ever be happy if you are not grateful for the good things in your life.
Here’s a super simple, five-minute daily gratitude exercise that has worked wonders for thousands of our coaching clients over the past decade:
Every night, before going to bed, write down three things that went well during the day and their causes. Just give a short, causal explanation for every good thing.
That’s it. We’re spending tens of thousands of dollars on expensive electronics, big houses, fancy cars, and lavish vacations, hoping for a boost of luck. This is a free alternative and works.
In a study of the effectiveness of this gratitude exercise by Martin Seligman, participants were asked to follow these exact instructions for only a week. After a week, the participants were measurably 2% happier than before, but in the follow-up tests their luck increased from 5% after one month to 9% after six months. Even more interesting was that the participants only had to keep this gratitude journal for a week, but the majority of them continued to log alone because they enjoyed it.
I tried it myself many years ago – I set myself the goal of only doing it for a week, and I still do it today. So I can assure you that it is addictive. (Angel and I discuss this in depth in the Happiness chapter of our New York Times bestseller, Back to Happy: Change Your Mind, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials To Triumphs.)
- Use your body.
I have said it before and I will say it again, your body is the greatest instrument you have. If everything else fails and your stress level increases, use your body to calm your mind.
The mind reflects your body by responding to its tension, breathing frequency, speed of movement and mental concentration. Likewise, your body reflects your thoughts, feelings, mood, and responds to your state of mind, the questions you ask, and the words you speak. So when the mind and body are closely connected – which means that one has a direct influence on the other – it becomes clear that if we directly and consciously take control of one, it influences and transforms the other.
By carefully adjusting how you use your body, you can directly affect your state of mind and dramatically change your attitude. Imagine sitting in a bad mood, with your shoulders hanging forward, breathing shallowly and frowning. Do this now to see how it affects your state of mind. And then do the opposite: stand upright and put a big smile on your face. Take a deep and strong breath and stretch your arms in the air.
Do you notice how you feel better?
Conclusion: take the vehicle your creator gave you and use it! Your body is the best tool to change your mindset and instantly relieve stress.
Close thoughts
If you still want to make positive changes after the following eight steps, I have a few recommendations:
Eliminate unnecessary tasks in your TO-DO list.
Reduce your commitments by saying “no” when you know you should.
Start a regular 10-minute meditation exercise.
Find additional mindfulness practices to try.
Do sports regularly.
ISS healthier.
Spend time with loved ones every day.
Sleep more.
And remember that most people deal with stress in the simplest and unhealthiest way you can think of – drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, eating candy, arguing with people, watching TV mindlessly, hesitating and so on. Ironically, these activities often cause even more stress and mental anguish. So don’t take the easy way out. Instead, use the ideas above to get by without these unhealthy crutches …
Start doing the hard things you know you need for yourself!
Everyone. Single. Day.
Now it is your turn…
Before you go, I’d like to hear from you in the comment section below.
With which point do you resonate the most? What helps you to promote your mental health and general wellbeing when life gets stressful?
Please share your thoughts.
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