Since I wrote a book on a fashion challenge, you might think I want to tell you what to wear. Not me.
Most of us have spent so much time, energy and money on what we wear and what we look like that the last thing anyone needs is more fashion advice.
However, I will tell you what not to wear if you want more peace and serenity in your life.
- You never have to blame your past again.
Guilt and regret for the past do not serve your present. Because of this guilt, you are not enjoying your current life to the fullest. Whether it’s guilty of letting go of something in your closet that you’ve spent too much on, guilty of a previous relationship, or anything in between, you’ve paid enough. You paid with your money, your time, your attention and your emotions. You can stop paying now. Let go, apologize, forgive and choose to live free of guilt and regret. - You never have to bear your pain again.
How many times have you tried to get rid of your pain? Retail therapy is an expensive way to relieve boredom, frustration, and heartache, and only provides temporary relief. You can’t buy yourself in pain. I tried and it didn’t work. However, I learned that you can buy yourself into an enormous amount of debt, which leads to more pain and then more shopping.
Swap purchases for self-care instead of wearing your pain. When you’re in pain, your heart doesn’t say, “Let’s go shopping.” It says, “Please take care of me.”
- You never have to bear the pressure to prove yourself again.
I rarely bought clothes because I actually needed more clothes. I had a lot instead I bought clothes to feel and be perceived in a certain way … to prove myself. I wanted to feel smart, beautiful and loved. I wanted other people to think I was the same way.
I tried to prove who I was, what I was wearing and what I was achieving. The problem was that there was more and more to prove and I finally forgot who I was.
If you have to prove yourself to people you love, that’s not love. If you have difficulty proving yourself at work, you may not be doing the right job. If you don’t believe me, just stop for a while. Stop pushing and proving and wanting people to see you the way you think you need to be seen to be successful. Instead, let them see you. Then you can finally really be yourself.
- You never have to carry your mistakes again.
Failure gets such a bad name, but it’s nothing more than a stepping stone to success. Through the failures we learn new approaches and approaches. You don’t have to feel sad or bad when you fail. If you fail, it means you are trying. If you have to bear your mistakes, wear them with a smile. You deserve it and now you use it to improve your life. - You never have to carry goals out of which you have grown again.
Letting go of goals and dreams can be the biggest challenge. When our lives change, we change and things that seemed so important years ago can slowly disappear. Instead of beating yourself up for not achieving your old goals, focus on your new dreams and develop goals or bucket lists that reflect who you are.
Also make sure that your goals are your goals. Are they yours or are they goals that you think other people have for you or expect from you? Let go of everything that doesn’t belong to you. The difference you will make in the world when you start pursuing YOUR dreams and goals will be extraordinary.
- You never have to wear everything you think again.
Our thoughts can often complain to us, but thoughts are only thoughts. Some are true and real, some are not. If we cling too hard to believe everything we think, we distance ourselves from the truth. Questioning the truth of my thoughts has prevented me from overreacting in certain situations and helped me to let go of other things more easily. Once you find that all of your thoughts are not true, they become much easier. - You never have to bear the expectations of others again.
One of the most amazing insights I got from Project 333 in the first three months of dressing with 33 or fewer items was that no one cared what I was wearing. Nobody noticed! Why did I try to make someone happy with my clothing choices? Why did I try to please someone with my life choices?
When I give myself permission to let go of my need, meet other people’s expectations, or feel judgmental (good or bad), I can trust myself and love my life regardless of external feedback. I am not good or bad or right or wrong because of what others think. I cannot control what they think and I will not change if I try.
When you stop bearing the weight of others’ expectations and judgments, you are more connected to who you are and what is important to you. When you let go of what other people think, you gain clarity and freedom to enjoy your life.
Now it is your turn…
I would love to hear from YOU in the comments.
What do you need to stop wearing?
(Which point above resonates the most?)
Please leave me a comment below.
