“Do I make sensible use of this scarce and precious day?”
It’s a simple question that Angel and I ask our students to ask themselves whenever they are busy.
Because excessive activity rarely makes sense.
And don’t make a mistake – excessive busyness is a common, modern disease!
We fill our calendars and social media feeds with different types of busyness, often just to avoid boredom … so as not to be who we are, exactly where we are. As soon as we feel a little inactive, we run towards the next shiny object that catches our attention. We not only miss the serenity and beauty that exists in ourselves, but also the experience of the same serenity and beauty in the environment around us. Our busyness blinded us with “hurry” and “worry”, and the endless need to be somewhere else and do something as quickly as possible.
Angel and I are not immune to it either. As with any other person, sometimes we let busyness get the best out of ourselves – we let distractions get in the way of what’s most important. And that’s the real tragedy: we confuse dealing with the effective. We feel a day late and scarce in every respect because our priorities are completely wrong with our daily efforts.
A widespread misalignment of priorities
To be honest, most of us suffer from a serious misalignment of our priorities.
In a recent survey we conducted among 700 of our course participants, we asked them questions to see how much they enjoyed their most common daily activities. As was to be expected, the assessment of the enjoyment of work-related commitments usually fell under the voluntary personal activities. However, what surprised us is the following:
Most of the students surveyed stated that many of their voluntary personal activities did NOT please them. For example, some of them stated that they enjoyed the time devoted to the family, practicing spirituality, or working on a passion project more than the time they spent watching television and surfing on social media. Yet these same students admitted spending more time watching TV and searching social media than engaging in the activities they say they enjoy more.
If anything, our student survey has highlighted a fairly widespread mismatch between what we do and what we think is meaningful and entertaining. And unfortunately, this misalignment ultimately leads us to busy seizures full of regret.
I remember a previous student of ours who was obsessed with playing online video games. These games took a lot of time and he felt so tormented by the time he wasted that he signed up for our “Back to Happy Course” course and immediately panicked for a coaching call with us jumped. Over the next few weeks, we eased his fear and held him accountable for a reasonable schedule that limited his video game time. And little by little he was able to let go of his regret and have many new and meaningful experiences.
While we may not all be obsessed with online video games, many of us share the feeling of regret associated with wasting our free time. Angel and I talk to students who do this every day. And I bet a lot of the people reading this article have felt something similar lately because they might have spent an hour (or four) browsing social media or watching TV without paying off their investment.
Some may say that our tendency to waste time always reveals our true priorities – that we prefer to engage in senseless entertainment over everything else. But that’s not correct. What really happens is a mistake in our decision-making process. Our busy life today is usually a routine distraction. We think much more about the past and the future than the present. We think of other people’s social lives instead of our own. We are physically in one place and mentally in another. Without a conscious presence, we thoughtlessly engage in current activities that lack meaning and joy.
And that’s why we all have to remember it …
Reminders to focus on what’s most important
The solution to our time-consuming tendencies is long-term practice. It’s about ritually sharpening our awareness of how we’re currently managing and wasting our time. And that is exactly what the following seven mantras (excerpts from our books and our blog archive) are designed for. They will force you to steal your time from the recurring time-consuming tendencies that you have got used to.
Whenever you find yourself wasting time to waste it, remember …
The quality of your life in the long run depends directly on how you set and respect your priorities today.
Sometimes you have to say “no” to good things in order to be able to say “yes” to important things. You cannot do everything. Be careful and choose wisely.
“I don’t have time,” is really just another, maybe polite, or maybe naive way of saying, “I don’t care.”
Don’t waste your time and energy fighting against your location. Invest your time and energy to get where you want to go. And even if you have a good reason to be upset and angry, let it go. Direct your energy in thoughts and actions that are actually benefiting your life. (Angel and I show, as in the “Happiness” chapter of the NEW volume with 1,000 little things that make happy, successful people different.)
Be present with what’s most important. There are few joys in life that are tantamount to a good conversation, a good story, a good laugh, a good hug or a good friend.
Tie-up is the biggest mistake most people make against a happier and easier life. It’s tempting to do tasks or distractions every waking minute of the day. Don’t do that to yourself. Leave room.
You should sit quietly for fifteen minutes today to gather your thoughts and review your priorities unless you are too busy. In this case, you should sit for an hour. Remember that. The world is the way you are inside. (Angel and I build tiny, life-changing rituals like this with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of the “Back to Happy Course” course.)
I literally set off to have the conversation. I’m shy for five minutes and go for a long walk in the neighborhood with Angel and our son Mac, because despite my busyness, the most important thing is to spend time with them.
I hope you come to me in your own way.
Now it is your turn…
Before you go, I would love it if you think about the distractions in your life …
What is a common distraction that wastes your time and gets between you and your priorities?
Please leave a comment below with your answer so that the rest of us can see that we are not alone in this fight and we can work together to remove these distractions and the unnecessary stress they cause in our lives.
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