The mind is a wonderful thing. It’s also an excuse machine that often tries to convince us not to take any action that we know is good for us. And this prevents many positive changes from taking place in our lives.
I had to learn to watch these excuses very carefully to make the positive changes in my life: a healthier diet, regular exercise, meditation, more sleep, daily writing, better planning, less delay, more concentration, etc.
If I hadn’t found out about these excuses and how to suppress them, I would never have been able to make these positive changes. Until I knew better, I had failed countless times in my youth because the deceptive tendencies of my mind had helped me get the best out of me.
Why is the mind playing with us and making irrational excuses?
Because the mind wants comfort, that’s the reason. It is afraid of discomfort, pressure and change. The mind is immersed in its comfort zone, and every time we try to stretch this zone too long, the mind desperately tries to get back to zero at all costs – including the sacrifice of our long-term health, happiness, and success .
So let’s uncover 10 of the cowardly spirit’s most harmful excuses once and for all …
Sorry # 1: I can’t do it.
It seems too difficult at first, so you think you can’t stick to the positive change you’re making. They don’t believe in themselves enough to take another step. This is a common excuse to counteract when you look at the fact that other people are not more capable than you.
For example, my 60-year-old neighbor ran a marathon just before I started training for my first marathon, so I said to myself, “If she can do it, I can do it!” And I was right. To be honest, the only person who can tell you that I can’t be you. If you hear these words echoing in the back of your mind, turn them off. Realize that your doubts and belief have something in common – both ask you to believe in something you cannot see. You just have to choose which one you want to believe in.
Excuse # 2: you can do it, but that’s not me because they are better off than me.
Just because someone else can do it doesn’t mean you can, does it? You’re looking for reasons why they can, but you can’t – maybe he’s an internet entrepreneur or freelance writer because he doesn’t have children. Maybe she’s a lot fitter than I am so she can run a marathon. Maybe she doesn’t have all the work and family responsibilities that I have, or she has a supportive spouse, or she doesn’t have bad knees. OK, well, it’s easy to find excuses. But look at all the other people who also have significant obstacles and still did it.
Marc and I have a family, dealt with significant losses in our lives and still managed to be successful on many fronts. And just as we turned things around for ourselves, we know hundreds of other people who did the same. In a decade of life coaching, we’ve seen people of all ages reinvent themselves – 48-year-olds who start families, 57-year-olds who graduate from college, 71-year-olds who start successful businesses, and so on. And there are many stories of people with disabilities or illnesses who have overcome their obstacles to achieve great things. Your obstacles can be overcome.
Sorry # 3: I’m stuck because I don’t have enough time to make changes.
Have you ever met a happy, successful person who regularly avoids responsibility, accuses and shows his fingers and makes excuses for his unsatisfactory life? Me too. The truth is that you write your own destiny through the choices you make every day. You become what you do repeatedly. It is more important to know where you are going and why than to get there quickly. Indeed, the most important thing in life is to know what the most important things in life are and to prioritize them accordingly.
Most of us spend too much time on urgent things and too little time on important things. Do yourself a favor and perform these three steps every time you create or sort your task list:
Think about the difference between the urgent and the important.
Check all commitments on your list.
Do what’s important first. (Read the one thing.)
Sorry # 4: It’s getting too difficult because I can’t get by without _.
Fill in the gap: I need my wine, my cheese, my sweets, my TV shows, my ten hours of sleep, my big house, my chic wardrobe, etc. These are luxury goods, without which we cannot convince ourselves. We can justify it, not to make any positive changes, such as eating healthier or exercising daily, saving money, simplifying our lives or building a profitable side job. And as I said, I’m not immune either – I’ve made these excuses myself in the past, but they all turned out to be lies. I didn’t need any of these things in my life and believing that I was doing was only hindering the positive changes I could make for myself.
Sorry # 5: Life should be easier and more fun.
Sure, I agree that life should be enjoyed (like most people), but the problem is that the idea that life should ALWAYS be simple and enjoyable is used to justify all kinds of lazy behavior. Could also sit on the couch and peel these cookies because hey, life should be enjoyed, right? Nah. You can do without junk food and still enjoy life. You can exercise and enjoy it. You can give up a lot of comfort in your life and lose nothing. In fact, the path of least resistance is often the path of least reward.
You have to do hard things. There are no shortcuts to places worth visiting. As Einstein once said, “Genius is 1% talent and 99% hard work.” You have to run to be a runner. You have to write to become a writer. You need to actively work on a company to learn how to run a successful company. There is no substitute for work. So meditate on it every day: “I will do the work. It will not be easy. It will be worth it! “
Sorry # 6: I deserve a reward (or a break).
We all deserve a treat or a day off. I’m not saying you shouldn’t give yourself a reward or break when one is earned. However, if you make this rationalization a main rule of life, you will always take a break. You will always reward yourself and never stick to the original plan. Instead, I do the following: I see it as a reward to stick to my plan. I see the achievement of my goals as a gift that I give myself. Running is not what I have to go through to get a reward – the run is the reward.
Sorry # 7: I can do it later.
Sure, you can always do it later … but your later self will feel the same way. Think about it: why should your later self be more disciplined than your current self? There is no reason. Indeed, by allowing yourself to slacken now, you are building a deferment habit and are actually making it less likely that your later self will become more disciplined.
So stop apologizing today why you can’t make it, and focus on all the reasons why you need to make it. Stop talking about what you did or what you will do. Just do it and let your actions speak for themselves. Most great things in life don’t happen by accident, they happen by accident. You only know what is possible when you take the risk of finding out. In the long run, there is only one thing that makes it completely impossible to achieve your dreams and goals: your lack of action today. (Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the Productivity chapter of 1,000 little things that make happy, successful people different.)
Apology No. 8: Once does not hurt.
This lie is so tempting because it is somewhat true: it doesn’t hurt once. Provided, of course, that it’s really only once. A scoop of ice cream, a missed workout, hesitating once instead of working, etc. Unfortunately, it is never once. Once means that your brain now knows that you can get away with this excuse the next time, and the next time it will lead to another until you have completely fallen off the car.
Make a pact with yourself: never believe the “one-time” lie. If you want to treat yourself to a scoop of ice cream, decide in advance and incorporate it into your plan – “I’ll have a single serving of candy once a weekend” and stick to your plan instead of spontaneously deciding if your conscience is weak
Sorry # 9: I’ve already failed too much.
You are only human If you collapse, that’s fine. Just don’t stay down. Rest and then get up so you can go where you prefer. Mistakes make us smarter. Mistakes help us grow. Hope keeps us going. And love is the reason why we live. Keep learning, love and live.
As Winston Churchill once said: “Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It takes courage to go on. “Nothing could be closer to the truth. Persistence is the mother of all productive efforts. Small and big mistakes happen to the best of us every day. The strongest and most productive people are not the people who always succeed, but the ones who don’t give up when they lose.
In the heat of the moment you want to stop, think about how far you have come and why you started in the first place. You are often much closer to the breakthrough than you think. Some people give up their efforts when they are almost there, while others achieve theirs by making more vigorous efforts to the very last second than ever before.
Conclusion: As soon as you learn to stop, it becomes a habit. Make some necessary adjustments and stick to it! (Read the principles of success.)
Sorry # 10: It’s too late now.
The change is constant, but growth is optional. Get stuck or learn and grow. Where you land depends on your daily attitude and reaction. And it’s never too late to change your mindset about something you can’t change. Just decide to make the most of it. No excuses. No regret.
Frankly, nothing is too late until your tired heart stops beating. If you are reading this, congratulations, you are alive, which means that it is not too late for you. Things can change if you want them at any age. At the moment you can choose differently and do something new. Your future is immediate. Grasp it with both hands and move on. If you encounter a roadblock and are faced with the choice of sitting down and doing nothing or doing anything to make further progress, choose the latter.
Think, work and climb when you have to.
Move your life forward.
Today!
(Note: Marc and I delve deeply into all of the above points with our students in the Getting Back to Happy Course & Coaching.)
It’s your turn…
What kind of excuses sometimes echoes in the back of your mind? What is such an excuse that held you back?
Please let us know your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
