A life of trying to please people who may not be able to be satisfied or trying too hard to always see what is expected of you is a sure way to an unfortunate existence. Marc and I have been on this path once, but I’m happy to say that we are now paving our own way based on our own needs, morals and values. And today I hope to inspire you to do the same …
Do more than just exist. We all exist. The question is: do you live?
Marc and I finally realized that it was not what we wanted for ourselves without ever really living. So we made changes – we gradually picked up on the points discussed in this article and never looked back. If you are in the same place we once were and get everyone’s approval for every little thing, please take this post to heart and make changes today. Life is too short not to do it.
- First and foremost, you are not required to meet everyone’s expectations. – Life is not obliged to give us what we expect. And you are under no obligation to give others what they expect. Period. Do things because you care. Do things because you know it’s right. Don’t just do things everyone else expects you to do.
- Expectations are hindering great life experiences. – Don’t let expectations (especially others) get in your way. To be honest, the unexpected is often better than expected. Our entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn’t go as planned, and that’s fine.
- You don’t need others to hold your hand every step of the way. – Sometimes be ready to go alone. You don’t need permission to grow. Not everyone who started with you will end with you. And that’s fine. (Read the road less.)
- You can learn from your mistakes without unnecessary pressure from third parties. – You’ll screw it up sometimes. But the good news is, as long as you listen to your intuition, you can decide how you want to screw it up. That means you can decide how you live and what you will learn on the go.
- Nobody knows you better than you do. – How you appear to others and how you actually are rarely matches. Even if they know who you are, they’re still missing a lot of the puzzle. What other people think about you will rarely contain the whole truth, which is fine. If someone builds an opinion about you based on superficiality, it’s up to him, not you, to reform those opinions. Let them worry. You know who you are and what is best for you.
- Only YOU can define what is possible for you and your life. – Some people will kill you over time if you allow it; and how they’ll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases like “be realistic”. When this happens, close your ears and listen to your inner voice instead. Remember that real success in life is not what others see, but how you feel. It lives your truth and does what makes you feel alive.
- In the end, happiness simply lives your life in your own way. – There comes a time when your back is against the wall and you realize that you can only say: “Fuck it, I’m doing things my way!” This is the earth shattering moment when you stop planning others’ expectations and make progress in what is really important to YOU. Then you begin to live life according to your own customs and values. Then you can finally be the happiest.
- The best way to serve yourself and others is to give yourself what you need. – Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what brings you to life and pursue it at all costs. That is what this world needs – people like YOU who come to life. Which means that your needs are important; So don’t ignore them. Sometimes you have to do what is best for you and your life, not just what appears best on the surface for everyone else.
- Instead of restricting yourself to opinions, you have to create your own reality. – If J.K. Rowling stopped after being rejected by several publishers for years. There would be no Harry Potter. If Howard Schultz gave up after being rejected by banks more than 200 times, there would be no Starbucks. If Walt quit Disney prematurely after his theme park concept was devastated by more than 300 investors, there would be no Disney World. One thing is certain: if you give too much power to the opinions of others, you will become their prisoner. So never let anyone’s opinion define your reality. (Read Daring Greatly.)
- You have to allow yourself the freedom to speak your truth. – Yes, tell your truth, even if your voice trembles. Be warm and reasonable, of course, but don’t be careful with every word you say. Put aside your concerns about what others might think. Let the consequences be unraveled in a natural way. You will find that most of the time nobody is offended or irritated. And if they’re upset, it’s probably just because you are acting in a way that makes them feel like they have less power over you. Think about it. Why lie?
- The wrong people shouldn’t be able to manipulate your standards. – Remember that failed relationships shouldn’t encourage you to lower your standards, but rather raise and maintain them. So if you make decisions instead of apologizing, learning new things, and getting closer to your goals, you should know that there are others like me who admire your efforts and also strive for greatness. Conclusion: Don’t let the wrong people overthrow you.
- The haters can have less influence on you. – Never worry about haters. Don’t let them come to you. You are only upset because the truth you know contradicts the lies that you live. Period.
- Your individuality can be celebrated and enjoyed openly. – If you constantly ask for consent, you are constantly worried that other negative judgments will be made about you. This steals the fun, ingenuity, and spontaneity of your life. Switch this habit over. If you’re lucky enough to have something that differentiates you from everyone else, don’t be ashamed and don’t change. Uniqueness is invaluable. In this crazy world that tries to make you like everyone else, find the courage to continue to be your remarkable self. It takes a lot of courage to be alone, but it’s worth it. It’s worth not to apologize!
- There can very easily be less drama that you have to deal with every day. – Avoid the drama. Ignore the negativity around you. Just be sincere and kind and promote what you love instead of thrashing what you hate.
- You can create more time to connect with the right people. – When you feel insecure, you usually don’t notice the hundreds of people around you who accept you for who you are. You only notice the few who don’t. Never forget your worth. Spend time with those you appreciate. No matter how good you are to people, there will always be negative heads that criticize you. Smile, ignore them and keep going. They may feel undesirable and unworthy for one person, but invaluable for another.
- Good relationships are not determined by one-sided expectations. – When it comes to your relationships, don’t keep everything you need to say to yourself. Let it out. Express your point of view. Communication is not just an important part of a relationship, communication is the relationship. Communicate even when it’s uncomfortable and uncomfortable. One of the best ways to heal and develop a relationship is to just expose everything inside out. Compromise. This is how good people make great things possible together.
- You can do your best without competing with everyone else. – If you are happy to simply do your best and not to compare or compete, anyone who is worthwhile will respect you. Here are some healthy food for thought: Always … Be strong, but not rude. Be nice but not weak. Be humble, but don’t be shy. Be proud but not arrogant. Be brave but not a bully. (Marc and I discuss these concepts in more detail in the Relationships chapter of the all-new edition of 1,000 little things that make happy, successful people different.)
- You are committed to no one more than yourself. – Your relationship with yourself is the closest and most important relationship you will ever have. So don’t forget YOU out there and don’t be too hard on yourself. There are many others who are ready to do both for you. And remember, if you don’t take good care of yourself, you can’t take good care of others. Therefore, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself.
Now it is your turn…
Yes, it’s your turn to give up trying to live up to people’s expectations
All the love and affirmation you need is up to you to give yourself.
Let it work. Then use the reminders above as needed to deepen it.
And please leave a comment for Marc and me below and let us know what you think about this post. Your feedback is important to us.
