Everything we need
Jose’s wife Maria was born in a self-contained one-bedroom house on the outskirts of Playa del Carmen, Mexico. It was a nice little home, but her father Oscar wanted a “real” house. So he worked two jobs – a 60 hour a week factory job and then another 20 hours a week as a carpenter.
Oscar saved 50% of his income for over a decade to build his family a four-bedroom house – just like in the better parts of the city. He put half of his family’s savings in a local community bank and put the other half in a safe that he kept hidden on their property.
The morning when Oscar intended to lay the foundation stone for his family’s new home, the local community bank closed its doors just a few hours after the police said the bank was operating an illegal (and uninsured) Ponzi scheme. 90% of Oscar’s deposits were lost. Then, the next day, her little house was robbed at gunpoint. In return for his family’s safety, Oscar offered the rest of the money he had hidden in the safe.
Within 36 hours, the family lost most of their savings through years of hard work. That night Maria’s mother Olga saw Oscar cry for the first time. She approached Oscar with her little daughter, who rocked and rocked in her arms, and said, “It’s just money. And it’s just a house. We have so much more than that. We have a really loving home.”
Oscar looked at Olga, dried his eyes and nodded in agreement. He spent the rest of the night with his little daughter, holding her tightly to his chest, remembering that he might not be able to give his family the house he dreamed of, but he could still give them a really loving home.
And for the next nine years, Maria grew up in this small, lovely, one-bedroom house. After the first year, a sister, Andrea, joined her. After the third year, a brother, Roberto, also joined. The memories they share of that time are really heartwarming.
For example, every day in Maria’s early elementary school years, she remembers how her father came home from work shortly before dinner, hugged and kissed her and her siblings individually, and then asked them two questions: “Are you loved? Do you have love in your heart “All three children nodded with a smile. Then he took them all together in a big group hug and called:” Me too! We are blessed! We have everything we need! “
With this house
Although Oscar truly believed what he said to his children, he was still pursuing his dream of building a larger, more comfortable home for his family. And nine years after Oscar had lost all of his savings, he had saved enough money to start building this new house 20 feet behind their small one-bedroom house. He started by designing the foundation of the kitchen that Mary’s mother had always dreamed of.
One block at a time, paycheck for paycheck, Oscar was slowly but steadily building the house he had come so close to almost a decade earlier. First the kitchen, a large family room and two bathrooms. Then a master bedroom, bedroom for each of the children and a beautiful covered terrace.
In 2002, when Jose met Maria and fell in love with her, Oscar was still building this house. Soon after, he put the finishing touches on it. The whole family celebrated for weeks. And nowadays Oscar and Olga celebrate holidays and special occasions with all three children and their children’s families several times a year in the house.
But the priceless lesson of this story has nothing to do with this house.
Just a bonus
On the first day when Jose met Maria’s family, he noticed how genuinely loving and happy the whole family was. He praised Oscar for his beautiful family and asked him what the secret was. Oscar spent hours telling interesting heartfelt stories about why his family was the happiest in the world. But he never shared all the details about how their house was built.
After knowing Maria and her family for years, traveling with them, and even living with them for a short time, no one thought to tell Jose how their family’s home came about. Jose asked questions about the construction a few times. And he got answers about the construction.
Only after Jose and Maria got married and closed their first house – in Miami, Florida – did Oscar take Jose on a long walk. He asked Jose for the details and Jose excitedly shared information about their new neighborhood and home. Oscar listened carefully, smiled, and finally told the story you just read about.
“My daughter doesn’t need a house,” Oscar concluded. “She needs a really loving home. And if you fill this house with children, your children need exactly the same thing. If you provide this, your children will always want to come to your home no matter how big or small your actual home is. The rest is just a bonus. “
. . .
I know all of this because Jose is one of my best friends. And just this morning over coffee he asked me what I would write about today. When I told him I hadn’t made up my mind, he grinned and said, “I have a story for you.” And then he told me the story I just told you.
(Note: Our New York Times bestseller, Back to Happy: Change Your Mind, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials To Triumphs. It’s an easy-to-read guide that’s guaranteed to bring more love to your life and relationships .)
Now it is your turn…
Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think about Jose’s story.
What was swinging with? Any other thoughts on building a really loving house or life?
I would like to hear from YOU. ?
